Elizabeth Drawing

Here's a short video I made of Elizabeth when she was about 14 months old.

Living Green and Garbage

For those of you who know me really well, you know I’m really not into all this “live green” hype. Still, I see no reason to waste when it’s unnecessary and I’m not big into filling landfills so quickly! I also see no reason to spend when you don’t need to. Especially now. Having what I can spend cut down by more than half (due to divorce, of course) has made me begin to realize how many extras I really had and how much money I may have wasted. To some extent, I’ve really enjoyed my new challenge of learning to save, reuse more, use others’ garbage, and rely on God to provide (even if it’s just an amazing savings on something!) I have been utterly amazed at how wasteful our country is… although, I must say, I’m very thankful! Yesterday, if you could have seen me when I thought no one could, you would have seen me standing in a dumpster holding a bunch of bok choy (not a thing wrong with it) thanking God aloud for how wasteful this country is. Don’t get me wrong… waste is bad. But there is a big, fat IF. If others don’t use these awesome items that are thrown away, waste is bad. If others get to benefit from this waste, then it’s good. Just over the past 1 1/2 weeks I’ve gotten at least $140 worth of produce from dumpsters. It seems things are thrown away when there is a bruise (I wouldn’t want to pay for it either… haha), have little wrinkles or look a tad too wilted to pay for. I’ve found many, many heads of lettuce that have just gotten too small from the grocers taking leaves off each day to make it look nicer, perfectly good green onions and bags of potatoes (red and Idaho), tomatoes (some getting a tad dry, but are still great for cooking), bell peppers with a bruised spot or just an imperfection (not as pretty), broccoli and cauliflower that was getting a little limp (doesn’t make a difference if you’re cooking it), radishes and beets that needed the green tops cut off, apples, mangoes, plums, and the list goes on! And that’s in grocery store dumpsters alone. I’ve found so much of some of these items that I’ve had to clean, cut, and freeze a lot. It’s great, though, because I love having things on stock for when I need them for a recipe!

I’ve had great luck at a few other types of stores, too. My finds at these places have included:

• A large piece of plexiglass (about 3’x4’).
• $160 leather Ecco shoes in the box – the display pair that were 1/4 of a European size off from one another (you can hardly tell the difference).
• 2 big garbage bags full of fake flowers (still in the bouquets they were being sold in – prices ranged anywhere from $19.99-$119.99.
• Vases.
• Frames (some with cracked glass, others with a small flaw in the frame – I take them all and put the crack-free glass in the good frames).
• A metal sippy cup (it had been returned, because someone couldn’t figure out how to get water out of it – there was a small plastic piece that had to be removed).
• 2 dozen red roses.
• Blank labels.
• A pet stool that can handle up to 40 pounds – great for a toddler.
• Mattresses and box springs still in the plastic (I didn’t actually take these since I didn’t have the right vehicle for it).
• Display desks and shelves (you know those ones you see in the store that are already set up for you to see what the box kit will look like later? Yeah. In the dumpster.) I also didn’t take these since I’ve been dumpster diving with my new-to-me mini van – it would be nice to have a pick up truck for those finds.
• Bathroom hardware (towel hanger, hooks, toilet paper holder, etc.).
• A framed painting I have displayed in my home now.
• An entire bag full of wooden kitchen utensils all individually wrapped in plastic (my sister, Mariah and I split up this bag between the two of us).
• Emery boards – it looks like after clearance they just tossed what didn’t sell. They also cracked most of them in half as they threw them away. I’ll get more into that in a moment.
• A French fry cutter (a friend of mine diving with me got that find).
• A beautiful metal headboard and foot board.
• A key chain.
• A wooden toy plane.
• Shells.

I’m sure there’s more that I’m forgetting.

It’s really disappointing how many places have dumpsters that are made inaccessible; either chained up, padlocked, or connected to the inside of the building with no way to get in from the outside. I understand that many businesses have had to lock up their dumpsters due to people dumping in them and that’s such a bummer. It’s too bad you can’t trust people to do the right thing! There is one thing I really cannot stand, though, and that’s the places that mess up the stuff they’re throwing away. R.E.I., for example. They throw away many pairs of boots/shoes that have been returned, but they put at least one long slash in each boot/shoe before throwing it out. They do the same with just about anything worth anything in their dumpster. I don’t really see the point to this. If anyone is willing to dumpster dive, do you really think they’d be a customer? I mean, would someone who could easily afford leather boots from R.E.I. normally consider looking in the dumpster first? Also, what is the chance of them being that person’s size? And those emery boards I found at Bed, Bath, & Beyond… it’s like, seriously? You have time to pay your employees to crack 98% of the emery boards in half so no one can use them? (I can, actually – I’m going to use them to distress paper in crafting projects.) Bed, Bath, & Beyond also like to spray paint most of their trash red. Kind of dumb.

Good things to take with you when dumpster diving include:

• Gloves
• Clean garbage bags
• Grocery-type bags
• A clean box (although, you’ll probably find plenty of these while diving).
• A flashlight (for evening dives).
• A stick for poking around – although I haven’t actually used one yet, I can see where one may come in handy. I’d really love one of those things for picking up items that people cannot easily reach when they having bending problems.
• A friend/partner – especially for evening dives.

Well, if I haven’t inspired you to check out your own local dumpsters, I hope I have at least entertained you a little. I’m sure I’ll get into other ways to save, reuse, etc. again sometime soon. I’ve been pretty focused on that subject over the past month. Count this as my “Living on Less”, chapter 1 - Dumpster Diving. LOL. You know what I just thought of? You could totally feed chickens the produce from dumpsters, too (the stuff you may not want to take for yourself – loose lettuce leaves and stuff). Practically free eggs.

Divorce

My divorce from Brad was final on Tuesday, October 26, 2010. Earlier this year I would never have thought I’d be divorced only a few months after my own parents. It’s crazy how quickly things can change.

I feel I’ve been in shock ever since I found out about the affair and Brad’s 5th child. Now, I’m slowly (some days not so slowly) crawling out of the shock. It can be scary at times. A few days this week it felt like the shock was completely gone and I was unprotected from the pain. It felt overwhelming and left me a sobbing mess at times. Oddly enough, shock seems to be helping guard me from the blunt force of betrayal and loss. Some of it must have come back after those few days, because I pulled myself together well enough the past two days to go to my sister’s baby shower, dumpster dive, talk to friends/family without crying at all, take care of my household, and school my children.

My household is unpacked now, although my craft room remains unorganized. I just need some parts for a shelf I have and can have that room organized and ready to use in an afternoon. Unfortunately, the parts that were lost in the move are hard to find. Oh well… hopefully I’ll find some at Home Depot or online so that I can finish up that room. I’m really in no hurry. I don’t feel very inspired lately anyway.

The children continue to progress quickly in their schooling (especially reading right now). I get excited at least a few times a week over that. With all the drama in my life over the past 1 1/2+ years, I was beginning to wonder if I’d be able to succeed in my quest to educate my children myself. It seems I can, am, and will – praise God! I really am beginning to more seriously realize I’m totally at the mercy of God, because I don’t know how I would stay glued together without His help.

Elizabeth is changing at a fast rate. She hardly ever crawls now, is walking and even beginning to run. She is getting a bit more independent of me, spending a lot of time playing with her siblings. Sometimes her and Robbie will play together while I work with Ethan and Madeleine on their lessons, which is nice/different. Normally, in the past, I’d be expecting another baby by now and be completely exhausted going through the first trimester.

Well, I better sign off for now. My children have realized I’m busy writing and think that means they can sneak off without finishing their lessons. Boy, do they have another thing coming! :) I’ll leave you for now with a few pictures, but will be back with another entry real soon.

Elizabeth laying on her belly to draw.

My beautiful sister, Kara reading to Ethan, Madeleine, and Robbie.

My lovely mother with Elizabeth.

Mischief – Robbie and Elizabeth.

All four of my children: Robbie, Elizabeth, Madeleine, and Ethan. They just won’t cooperate in a picture together for me. Ethan would NOT quit making his “pirate” face during the entire photo shoot, of course the middle children wouldn’t quit laughing at Ethan, and Elizabeth (who I wasn’t paying enough attention to, apparently) was shoving something in her mouth. Oh well… maybe better luck next time!

My sweet, beautiful daughters.

Robbie getting cozy on top of the freezer. I guess he was tired of the photo shoot.

A storm moving in – the view out the backside of my home.

Broken Vows

I hardly know where to start.  My life has changed dramatically.  I guess I’ll just begin with where I ended.  After staying at the Hampton Inn for awhile, my children and I moved back into a small house in Missoula, Montana that we had stayed in for a couple of months prior to May.  It’s a cute, little, one bedroom/one bathroom house that I loved.  Near the end of our stay I was basically tired of not having a bedroom for the kids, though.  Anyway… we stayed in the cute house from June 1st till the end of August.  Brad came back in June, but ended up leaving for Seattle again near the end of July.  He told me he was just going to go pick up some truck parts in Spokane, but when I called him that evening, he said he was going to Seattle again.  I was unhappy about it, of course.  I don’t like being tricked and didn’t understand why he hadn’t been upfront with his plan to continue on to Seattle for work purposes.  I found out shortly after that, though… 

I did a Google search on HPV (the virus that is the cause of all warts) and saw some pictures that looked like something Brad had.  I quickly realized while reading that they were a STD, which concerned me greatly.  I felt panicked and yet, at the same time, figured it was nothing.  I decided to get checked out to be sure I didn’t have any STD’s (I knew the only way I would get something would be from Brad being unfaithful – he has been my one and only).  Before going to the doctor’s office, though, I talked to Brad on the phone and told him about the pictures and that I was going to get checked out.  I laughingly asked him, “You haven’t had an affair, have you?”  He replied chuckling, “I wouldn’t tell you if I had.”  Then I realized… “That means you have!  How long?… How long?… How long?”  I said it until he answered, “About a year and a half.”  He continued on and told me the girl had had a baby in May.  The betrayal hit me like a boulder.  I didn’t even know what to do with the information.  I don’t remember the rest of our conversation, but know it ended in tears.

I ended up getting checked for just about every STD under the sun and got a clean report (praise God), but my family is broken.  Long story short, my marriage is over.  Brad is sorry he hurt me, but wants to live a polygamist lifestyle.  I’m unwilling to live that way and don’t believe it to be right.  Last week he said he was willing to live a monogamist lifestyle with me and be reconciled to me, but some of the things he said and did made serious red flags go up in my mind and I realized if there is ever a time to reconcile it isn’t now.  He isn’t ready and to be quite honest, unless there is a miraculous change in his life, I’ll never be ready either.  Our legal divorce is nearly done.

I’m on my own now with my four beautiful children.  We found a country setting not far from Missoula.  It’s a 3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bathroom home (about 1300 square feet) on 5 acres.  I plan on getting chickens this autumn or next spring and having my milk cow moved nearby.  This place seems just about perfect for us.  I’m very thankful to God for providing for all of our needs and taking care of us through this difficult time.

Ethan and Madeleine are getting in a good routine of doing their schoolwork each day and I’m very pleased with the progress we’re making in that already in spite of all the ups and downs we’ve been through lately and all the unpacking that has had to be done.

I hope to have the rest of our household unpacked soon.  I’m just wanting to get on with my life right now.  There is a lot of grief left in me, but I wish I could just avoid it.  I’m tired of crying, hurting, and being angry.  I’m tired of missing what I thought I had.  I’m so tired of the pain.  It has been the most difficult 1 1/2 years (beginning with something that happened to/with my parents) of my life and I’m truly hoping 2011 is a year of peace, love, and joy.  Sounds like Christmas, huh?

An Update

Brad has been away on business, so when I saw Elizabeth excitedly watching a T.V. show about grizzly bears, I decided to make a little video for him of her. I was hoping she would say, "Dadda" for him, but she didn't. :) The video turned out pretty good, so I decided to share it with all of you, too! So, without further ado, here is my little cutie:

Celebration! (Not for Those With a Weak Stomach)

I am SO happy to report that it has been well over a week since Robbie has used a diaper! He is officially potty trained. It is one my favorite milestones that a toddler reaches. As a mother, after changing stinky diaper after stinky diaper (day after day), I'm ready to put a party on when a child gets potty trained! For awhile, I won't have any diapers to change that make me feel like holding my breath, or that cause me to sit there praying I won't vomit (I know it sounds a bit exaggerated, but when I have a flu bug or just have an upset stomach and I'm faced with a big diaper load of you-know-what, I DO feel like I may throw up). For some of you, this may come as a surprise. I look like one of those moms where nothing bothers me. Well, I smile as I hold my breath! That smell does bother me (even after four children), though. I feel like I must be like my grandma, who during every diaper change would have to say how disgusting it was and she would make faces. She was just honest about how she felt about it... I try to keep it to myself most of the time. I remember watching her change my red-headed cousin's diaper a couple of times and thinking it was pretty funny... until my grandma had to wipe my butt. That wasn't funny. I was already embarrassed by the fact that anyone had to wipe my butt, but then my grandma would go on and on about how disgusting it was - that was embarrassing! I did learn from it, though... I learned not to do that to kids. When, like Robbie, they need their butts wiped after going number 2, I keep my opinion of what is in the toilet to myself.

So, all of this to say, my little guy is potty trained! He doesn't even need a diaper during the night. He just became determined to be a big guy (in that area) and started using the toilet. Brad took Robbie out to get a package of boxer shorts, which Robbie is quite proud of, and Robbie wears a pair each day. I didn't even know they made boxer shorts that small until Brad found them! They're kinda cute. Well, especially on such a cute little feller. :)

While we're on the subject of Robbie, I would like to bring up that about 3 weeks ago he started teaching himself how to get dressed. That stage with a toddler is mostly cute - especially at first! He usually puts his pants on backwards and it's about a 40% chance (still) that he'll put his shirt on backwards. With this new knowledge, comes opinion. He now has a strong opinion as to what he wears! It's kind of neat seeing a bit more of his personality. I always like that with the children. When Ethan went through this stage I learned that he LOVES vests. With Madeleine I learned she really loves the colors purple and pink. I haven't actually figured out what Robbie loves besides completely dry clothes. That's the part I don't like. He changes a bit too often just from a drop of water (as have each of my children at this stage). With not having a washer or dryer, that makes things a bit inconvenient. I have learned, though, that when I find a pair of pants that look completely fine (since he changes himself, I find his laundry all over the place) to just hang them up for a little while. He'll want them back when he is sure they're dry.

Well, that's all I have to say for now! I hope everyone is having a lovely weekend so far! :)

A couple of videos:

Baby raspberries:



Here's a video of me tickling Robbie. I don't remember why we were saying, "You too big," over and over, but I know he started it. :o)

A Little Crawling...

Here's a short video of Elizabeth's crawling. You may hear Robbie in the background talking about some shooting game he was playing. I later corrected him due to he isn't allowed to pretend or talk that way! :)

Pictures

Here's a picture update:

Here's my first double stroller. I found it on craigslist.org from a gal who was asking $30. I met her at a grocery store nearby and she told me she was going to lower the price and to make her an offer. I asked her if she'd take $25 and she replied, "How about $20?" I was pretty happy with that deal! This picture was taken during our first walk with our new stroller. You can sort of see Robbie in the back and that's Elizabeth in the front (of course). :)

Elizabeth's sweet little face. She's doing so well sitting up and crawling! My baby is growing up so quickly!

Ethan - my first baby! He's getting to be a big guy. Here he is wearing a sweatshirt I had when I was 7-years-old. I decided it was time to get rid of it when I noticed a little hole it in, but wanted a picture to say, "Ethan wore one of the sweatshirts I used to wear!" I always thought it was more boyish than girlie. :)

A more serious shot of Ethan. That's part of our new kitchen there in the background.

I like this picture of Elizabeth. This is her "really happy" smile. :)

Madeleine and Elizabeth.

Baby raspberries! Elizabeth loves to sit around making them. :)

My Four Cuties

I took a short video of Ethan, Madeleine, Robbie, and Elizabeth playing on the pull out bed the other evening and thought I would share it with all of you:



I'll be posting pictures soon, so be sure to check back when you get a chance! :o)

Mama!

Elizabeth learned to say, "Mama" today! She's on a real learning roll!

And Robbie is making awesome progress in the area of potty training this week! (Can you tell I'm excited? I'm using a lot of exclamation marks today.) :) Anyway, blogging is my new way of keeping record of all these neat milestones they reach.

I hope to share some pictures soon, but I sort of need to take some to share... :) I'll be sure to work on that soon!

Elizabeth News

It's hard to put a date to when a child learns to crawl usually. Elizabeth has been in the process of learning for many days now. Probably weeks, actually. Still, she hasn't officially crawled the classic crawl yet. She gets around really well with a mix of the classic crawl and Robbie's crab crawl. I'll have to make a video of it soon and post it.

Other new news: Elizabeth has been saying, "Dadda" and "Bah-bah" a lot the past week since Brad got back from starting his new job. I think "Bah-bah" may be her way of saying, "Brother," but am not entirely sure.

Teeth!

My baby girl, Elizabeth got two teeth in this week (Tuesday and Wednesday, I think)! They're her first teeth and it seems like she has been working on getting them in for many months! They're the two little front, bottom ones. I thought I had better make a record of it somewhere before I forget! :)

Onto the Next Chapter…

As I squinted into the sun, crying tears of exhaustion, relief, loss, and change I realized that it was time to update my blog. A chapter of my life is over. I know, it wasn’t a profound thought by any means, but seriously… I’ve abandoned this blog for far too long. I have posted video updates here and there, but that’s pretty much it. This past season of my life was busy. The move was the hardest, worst one I’ve ever been through (and I’ve seen my fair share of moves – 20 now) and I suppose it isn’t officially over. We still have to (in the future – maybe not so near) move everything into a new place and unpack. Right now I would feel content living in an RV or furnished rental for quite awhile. I DO NOT want to move another box for a very long time. My back aches, my wrist feels damaged, my wrinkles look deeper, and I’ve had laryngitis for about 5 days (maybe more – I’ve lost track with all the busyness). My family has had more colds/flues during this stressful move than we’ve had over the course of the past three years combined. Maybe it’s just a bad year for germs, though, I’m not sure. I really think the stress has something to do with our immune systems having issues fighting off the germs.

There are many things to be thankful for, though. I had friends by my side helping me for many days with packing, cleaning, and filling vehicles with boxes to move. (Thank you, Crystal!) I’ve had friends and family there for all the days I needed to vent. No one is seriously injured, no one got food poisoning in spite of lots of eating out during the past two weeks, and the weather has been spring-like. Rain and warmth. During the end of our move we had a lot of warm days, which I’m very thankful for. Moving things would have been far more difficult there at the end if we had a lot of windy, cold, and/or snowy days. Instead we had a lot of sunshine, temperatures in the 40’s and 50’s (Fahrenheit), and blue skies.

Brad is starting a new job and things are up in the air a bit. We may or may not stay in the U.S. for the summer, but if not we’ll be headed to Nicaragua in the near future.

Well, I guess that’s basically all that is new for now. Things are a bit up in the air, but there are many things to be thankful for!

Mr. Blue

A couple of days ago I discovered a garbage bag that I had put food (herbs, vitamins, miscellaneous things) into the night before, torn open. Food was scattered all over on the floor surrounding it. I quickly decided our cat probably wouldn't do that, which left three people who could have done it - Ethan, Madeleine, or Robbie. I questioned all of them and decided it definitely wasn't Ethan or Robbie. Madeleine's answer was questionable, though. She at first said she didn't know how it happened, then changed her story to that she saw the cat do it. See why I wasn't sure still? I decided not discipline her, due to I still felt a bit unsure, but warned her to not lie and told her I hoped she was telling the truth. Well, that very evening I saw the culprit. It indeed was Mr. Blue. I was sitting in the dining area of our home after a full day of moving talking to a friend on the phone when I noticed Blue acting like a dog, chewing into a garbage back and pulling things out of it! I went over to investigate. I pulled out the bag of herbs from inside the garbage bag that he was getting into. It was a mixture of herbs for making a "Snooze Tincture". I read through the ingredients and quickly figured out the problem... catnip. LOL! No wonder my cat was going crazy over those bags! I grabbed out a handful of the herbal mixture and put it in a sock, then tied the end of the sock shut, gave it to Mr. Blue, and grabbed my camera. Here he is:

The Sound You Hear On the Other Line

Okay, so if you've talked to me on the phone you've probably heard this funny sound, but I thought I'd share with you what she looks like while making it. :) Elizabeth's little "scream":



I made this little video last month, but wasn't able to upload it until now.

Elizabeth Playing With Chips

It's going on a whole month since I last wrote! Sometimes when I have a lot going on in my life I write less often. I'm not sure why things work out that way, but they do. We're nearly moved out of our house (finally), so hopefully I'll have more time to update everyone on things soon. Anyway, I'm actually here today to post a short video of Elizabeth from last month. :) Here it is:

Follow Up to My New Year Post

I've been meaning to say, that although at times I feel hesitant about going to a third world country where I don't know the language, I still have been excited about it. I like adventure! I've just been a lot more cautious since I had children. :)

On the subject of Nicaragua, I'm not sure if it's going to work out or not to go. Some things have come up that have brought the whole trip into question for me. I'm still hoping things work out, though! So, if you're someone who prays, please be sure to include my family in your prayers (I'm looking for prayers that we make all the right decisions concerning our next venture/s.) Thanks so much!

Rice is Life

I just wanted to share with all of you this neat video one of my California friends, Sean made. He now lives in Thailand where he is trying to raise the funds for a rice mill. This is both interesting as well as educational, so why not check it out?! :)

Happy New Year!

I must say, I'm so very glad 2009 is in the past. The best thing about 2009 was, of course, my baby girl, Elizabeth Rose. There were a lot of struggles that had to be gone through last year, a lot of painful changes that were made, and a lot of things I want to simply leave in 2009. I'm hopeful that 2010 will be a year of growth (hopefully not too painful), healing, and, well... change. That's one thing we can depend on - every year will be filled with change. In one form or another, change seems to enter every year. Sometimes with a bang. Like this year. I should be off to another country within the next couple of months. I'll be learning to live in a place where I'm not even close to fluent in the language spoken there. I will be leaving nearly everything and everyone I know behind. Yes, change is here and I welcome it. Okay, not really. I want to welcome it and to feel adventurous, excited, and trusting; but I don't. I'm working on it, but with change I tend to dig my heals in and fight it a bit. Most folks can't always see that with me, because I say the right things so as to help them (I want them to feel like I'm living my dream and not to worry about me), but inside... I'm a bit afraid. This is big and "secretly" I hope something comes up and it doesn't work out. I'll probably even be a bit disappointed if it doesn't work out (I've focused on it so long) and yet I could live without this big of a change... I think. I want to do what's right and maybe this move is right, but maybe it's not. And maybe it will just be another thing to live through. Another thing to praise God I make it past. None of us know what the future holds and that can be a bit daunting at times. I'm going to try and trust God to take care of directing our paths and taking care of us as we travel no matter where our travels take us.

Happy New Year!