Half Deaf

Yesterday I took Ethan to the ear doctor. I had figured out Ethan probably wasn't hearing anything with his left ear. I thought it must have been a somewhat new occurrence - within the past year. I had three theories as to what caused the problem:
1. The no-see-'em bugs that got in his ears last year somehow caused a problem.
2. The clay that Ethan had made "earplugs" out of somehow got deep into his ear and covered up his eardrum. I thought I had cleaned all the clay out, but maybe...
3. Or for some reason wax had covered up his eardrum. You know, maybe a bug got in there, his body was trying to clean it out, but instead accidentally covered his eardrum with earwax.

None of my theories turned out being fact this time. I had really hoped it was something repairable even if it took surgery. However, the doctor said it's in the inner ear, it's a problem connected with the nervous system and Ethan was probably born this way. Ethan's left ear is deaf. He said most commonly parents don't detect a problem like this until their child enters school and said I had done a magnificent job detecting it so young. That's NOT how I feel, though. How could I NOT notice my child was deaf in his left ear until the fourth year of his life??? I keep going over in my head how I could have missed that and I wish I had figured it out sooner, because I'll always wonder if he ever heard out of his left ear.

This doesn't change how we live our life as a family. It simply means we need to pay more attention how we speak to him - we need to face him more often when we speak to him. Also, we need to speak in the direction of his right ear. The doctor said Ethan isn't able to tell where sound is coming from without looking around first. I had noticed that, but hoped we would go get his ears cleaned out and the problem would end. That won't be the case. However, there is still hope in my mind/heart. I believe in miracles and believe Ethan can be healed. So, send faith and prayers Ethan's way if you have a mind to. All will be appreciated.