Divorce

My divorce from Brad was final on Tuesday, October 26, 2010. Earlier this year I would never have thought I’d be divorced only a few months after my own parents. It’s crazy how quickly things can change.

I feel I’ve been in shock ever since I found out about the affair and Brad’s 5th child. Now, I’m slowly (some days not so slowly) crawling out of the shock. It can be scary at times. A few days this week it felt like the shock was completely gone and I was unprotected from the pain. It felt overwhelming and left me a sobbing mess at times. Oddly enough, shock seems to be helping guard me from the blunt force of betrayal and loss. Some of it must have come back after those few days, because I pulled myself together well enough the past two days to go to my sister’s baby shower, dumpster dive, talk to friends/family without crying at all, take care of my household, and school my children.

My household is unpacked now, although my craft room remains unorganized. I just need some parts for a shelf I have and can have that room organized and ready to use in an afternoon. Unfortunately, the parts that were lost in the move are hard to find. Oh well… hopefully I’ll find some at Home Depot or online so that I can finish up that room. I’m really in no hurry. I don’t feel very inspired lately anyway.

The children continue to progress quickly in their schooling (especially reading right now). I get excited at least a few times a week over that. With all the drama in my life over the past 1 1/2+ years, I was beginning to wonder if I’d be able to succeed in my quest to educate my children myself. It seems I can, am, and will – praise God! I really am beginning to more seriously realize I’m totally at the mercy of God, because I don’t know how I would stay glued together without His help.

Elizabeth is changing at a fast rate. She hardly ever crawls now, is walking and even beginning to run. She is getting a bit more independent of me, spending a lot of time playing with her siblings. Sometimes her and Robbie will play together while I work with Ethan and Madeleine on their lessons, which is nice/different. Normally, in the past, I’d be expecting another baby by now and be completely exhausted going through the first trimester.

Well, I better sign off for now. My children have realized I’m busy writing and think that means they can sneak off without finishing their lessons. Boy, do they have another thing coming! :) I’ll leave you for now with a few pictures, but will be back with another entry real soon.

Elizabeth laying on her belly to draw.

My beautiful sister, Kara reading to Ethan, Madeleine, and Robbie.

My lovely mother with Elizabeth.

Mischief – Robbie and Elizabeth.

All four of my children: Robbie, Elizabeth, Madeleine, and Ethan. They just won’t cooperate in a picture together for me. Ethan would NOT quit making his “pirate” face during the entire photo shoot, of course the middle children wouldn’t quit laughing at Ethan, and Elizabeth (who I wasn’t paying enough attention to, apparently) was shoving something in her mouth. Oh well… maybe better luck next time!

My sweet, beautiful daughters.

Robbie getting cozy on top of the freezer. I guess he was tired of the photo shoot.

A storm moving in – the view out the backside of my home.